Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Cake, Frosting, Spork, Fred


So, I'm walking into the bakery.  Don't judge me, people.  Cake was needed.  With frosting.  For someone else, mind you.  And I saw a sign.  A perfect sign.  An event.  With a goat.  About a goat.  GORDON, I shrieked.  Scared the crap out of the little pimple-faced bookworm cheerleader-reject bopping out the door with her ONE (who the hell buys ONE cookie?) cookie in hand.  Yes, a goat.  On a poster.  About a goat event.  And....are you ready for this??  I don't have my frigging cell phone to take picture.  I have failed my girls.  Ladies, it was a total Gordon-festish kinda deal and I got no pic.  I would have gone back to the car, retrieved my phone and taken a wondrous photo to share but alas, I had an arm full of cake and a date with destiny.  Okay, not destiny.  His name was Fred.  And it wasn't a date.  But it involved moving furniture.  And a knife.  And singing.  Bad singing.  While this was a momentous, spine-tingling moment, there was more fun to be had later.  Fun, as in stab yourself in the wimmens parts with a frigging Spork kinda fun.  I kid you not.  I may have to rest tomorrow and avoid the real world.  I may be entirely too much for this world.  But know this.  And never forget it.  I was so seriously rocking the hell out of my Honey Boo Boo Child tee shirt, that I seriously felt the earth move a bit in its own wonder and amazement.  Well, that movement may have been my dinner making a return appearance after being stuck moving a frigging TV with Fred, the "helpful" neighbor.  I might be wrong though.  More on that later.

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